Ok, I'm gonna make this one short, it's getting late and I have places to be and things to buy tomorrow. Not that they are things that I want to have to buy, when you are in the process of waiting to start another job, and still paying bills, money seems to disappear like... like the disappearing man. Simple enough, it just seems to be GONE. And it does not help that I am still trying to cash my last check from my last place of employment. I stopped working there over a month ago, and just barely was able to cash it today, and today was not the first time I tried to cash it. I felt quite relieved when the bank man handed me my money. And then there was the devastating part when I got home and was told, (by more than one person,) that apparently if the check bounces, I have to go back and hand that cashmoney back to the bank man. So, long story short, in my experience working for said previous company, even though I have the cash, it isn't mine and I'll probably have to give it back. So lame. Incredibly lame, in fact, I'm going to change the subject because this one is making me a bit woozy.
I found a ward to go to on Sunday. It was a small family ward. For some reason, my first though when I get to the building was something like "Oh crap, I hope this isn't a Spanish branch..." Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the people in the Spanish branch are great, but it's hard enough getting to know new people, throw in a language barrier and I'm done for. I couldn't find a seat at first because, well, I was late, my hair refused to cooperate, drastically refused. So I got there right at the beginning. I'll be honest with you, sitting out in the foyer, in a new Church building, not knowing ANYONE, is daunting, and a bit sad. Imagine my immense discontent when I walked in and lots of families and old people and, of course, no one my age. For some reason, I started to panic. No one my age?! What would I do?! Who would I befriend? Who would tear up the town with me on Friday nights? Who would pick up the phone and call to "hang out", who would I go do stupid things with when I didn't want to do stupid things alone.... alone... there was that word again. I felt that feeling... that feeling that's kind of somewhere in you're lower chest that felt like it was trying to move it's way through my throat, and sinking, my insides felt like they were sinking... no, I wasn't about to vomit, but the thought that had suddenly rushed to my head was "I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE!" Dramatic and overstated.... COMPLETELY. But after the past couple years I've had, everything tends to seem that way. Dying alone is no laughing matter, and after having so much within my grasp, and them watching it slip right through my small and sexy fingers, well you can imagine (or probably you can't) how much more upsetting dying alone would be. Yes I know, all quite dramatic and exaggerated, but over-expression of intense emotions seems to be my thing, which isn't always bad. I've had a few people tell me I should be in musicals, which someday, I may get around to. Anyway, I did, after sacrament meeting, go and talk to the bishop of the ward, who was a bit... um, I can't think of the word right now, but he was slightly helpful but kind of not all with me. I dunno, it may have been those pesky, intense emotions clouding my judgement. BUT he did tell me where and when the young single adult ward supposedly meets. So eventually I will be trying that out as well.
Right now I'm in NH visiting my family... again. But I may as well take advantage of being so close to them and currently not having much else to do. Soon enough I will start working and be busy and hopefully (fingers crossed) meet some other young, and single, and "looking to have friends or date" types of people.
We shall see. Off to bed. Things to do tomorrow.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Vacation?...
So, now that I have been offered a job, and I'm just waiting for the processes to process, technically I'm on mini vacation, because technically I'm employed, so long as they don't find any deep dark secrets in my criminal history that is. I'm just waiting, they could call me in to start at any moment, which is why I haven't blown this joint and gone off on a real vacation. Naturally, I've been spending my days in front of my Tv and computer, watching movies and playing games, and snacking way more than I should... this is no bueno. This kind of vacation where you are waiting for something to happen, is evil, because when it comes full circle, you just get fat. Maybe I won't get to fat, I did finally get to the gym yesterday to switch my contract over to the gym here. That could have turned out better. I did manage to get a much shorter contract for a bit less each month. But let's just say that I feel like I went from the Taj Mahal of gyms, to the crack house of gyms. Really though. I mean don't get me wrong, I am quite picky about the cleanliness of the facilities that I use, but it was like 10 times smaller, and smelled like a mixture of urine and sweat. It didn't look like it got cleaned much at all and there were like 3 Tvs that were placed at awkward angles with no way of hearing them/no subtitles or anything. Don't even get me started on the locker room, and I didn't even go in to the bathrooms... BUT it's what I've got for the next six months so I will just have to grin and bear it and then run far away and find something better. I felt pretty good about my 15 minute workout, but it only lasted 15 minutes because I was BORED OUT OF MY MIND. Again, Taj Mahal > crack house. Plus I forgot my ipod, partly because it's been a while since I used it. Ooh but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, therefore the somewhat unnerving feeling that I get when I walk in to this gym, will just add to my progress. Right? Let's go with that.
Today was a pretty good day, my inner geek came out and partied a bit with the Doctor, for some reason I was in the mood to watch some of the most emotionally heart-wrenching parts, but it was a good time nonetheless. Also, I got a popcorn bowl today, where I come from, that's a big deal. Respect.
Tomorrow, I will be attending my new ward for the first time. My Utah ward called the other day, asking for my new address and wanting to send my records out this way for me. So when I logged on to LDS.org, it told me what ward to go to. I haven't decided if it's a good thing or a bad thing that it isn't a singles ward. But I guess either way, it means I probably won't find many dating prospects, and I will probably stay single and without a dating life for a while, here in Massachusetts.
Anyway, I guess here's to being young and single? Sure, why not. Unless, really that's just what us single people who wish we weren't, say to make ourselves feel better... ;)
Today was a pretty good day, my inner geek came out and partied a bit with the Doctor, for some reason I was in the mood to watch some of the most emotionally heart-wrenching parts, but it was a good time nonetheless. Also, I got a popcorn bowl today, where I come from, that's a big deal. Respect.
Tomorrow, I will be attending my new ward for the first time. My Utah ward called the other day, asking for my new address and wanting to send my records out this way for me. So when I logged on to LDS.org, it told me what ward to go to. I haven't decided if it's a good thing or a bad thing that it isn't a singles ward. But I guess either way, it means I probably won't find many dating prospects, and I will probably stay single and without a dating life for a while, here in Massachusetts.
Anyway, I guess here's to being young and single? Sure, why not. Unless, really that's just what us single people who wish we weren't, say to make ourselves feel better... ;)
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Life lately... again.
(This is gonna be a long one!!)
I hate that I never remember to update this thing. I wish I was one of those people that like every Thursday evening I'm like OH, I should update my blog. But I guess three months has now passed and life, once again, flip flopped itself all around and changed, completely. That seems to happen to me a lot. Head spinning.
Soo about a month ago I quit my job, due to a need for benefits and a more stable job, and things god a bit sketchy right at the end and it just felt like it was time to leave. I packed half my stuff and got rid of the other half, UPSed a crapload of it, and packed the really expensive stuff in to my car. And I left Utah. I always knew that I wouldn't be in Utah forever, but it felt like I just got there and was finally settling in a bit, after you know like 9 or something months. So I left, and drove the first day just fine, sang my lungs out, and stopped in Omaha, NE for the night, at quite a nice Motel 6. Seriously, nicest Motel 6 ever! So I slept quite well, got up the next day, filled up the tank, and headed out.
MY DISASTER STORY, IF YOU WANNA READ IT...
Then Disaster struck, a few hours into my drive my car sputtered and lurched and died, and had just enough momentum for me to roll to the side of the road... and really, just enough momentum, like, my tires were just over the white line, on the I-80, I couldn't even get out of the car until there were no car or huge semis passing. It was a bit scary. Let's just say, I almost started freaking out... called my dad and freaked out a bit and cried a bit. I was literally in the middle of nowhere Iowa. Seriously, nothing but fields for miles... The car would turn over and start but it wouldn't do, ANYTHING. So I could get it in neutral, and I would jump out of the car and try to push it more off to the side... I got it a little more off the side, but still not really enough to get out of the car... (luckily a police officer pulled over and pushed my car more off the road) anyway, I called my insurance and spent like 45 minutes on the phone with them trying to figure out where I was and where to send a tow truck. So, thus far, I am alone, on the side of a busy highway, in the middle of nowhere, with no idea where I was, talking to some insurance lady in Arizona, and waiting for some random tow truck driver, to take me who knows where with my completely dead car... SO, anyway. From then on out, I sat, and waited. I couldn't call someone to talk to because my phone had like half a battery annnnd I didn't have a car charger. So I waited, and waited, a few hours.... eventually the tow truck showed up... it was a bit scary, I'll be honest. He was a raspy old guy, with long hair and wrinkly tattoos. He was nice, but, the whole situation was just killin' me anyway. He gets the car up on to the tow bed, and we hop in his truck and start driving. We end up in this little tiny, tiny town, called Brooklyn, Iowa. The guy keeps telling me how small of a town Brooklyn is, and how there aren't any hotels there and hopefully there will be somewhere for me to spend the night and blah blah blah and it was stressing me out a bit. So we stopped he had to ask where the mechanic that the insurance had sent us to was. The tow truck driver gets back in the truck and says that they told him where to go, and also that they didn't think it was open anymore... and we drove over to the place, and it was not there. So I call my insurance back, trying not to LOSE it and they talk to th tow truck driver and give us another location, in another town. Off we went. Another 20 minutes with a strange man in the middle of nowhere. We ended up in the little town of Grinnell, Iowa. The tow truck driver dropped me at a little car dealership that had a shop and he started unloading my car from the truck bed, while I started talking to the guy... who proceeded to tell me that they wouldn't even look at my car until Tuesday... it was Friday. And it was a holiday weekend. It took everything I had not to fall apart. Holy crap was I stressed. Oh, and I was worried about how much it was going to cost. I called my dad again and then he decided to call the insurance, and have some words with them and find a place that might at least look at it. And get the, to send another tow truck... So I just waited around at this car dealership for something to happen. Then, when the dealership closed I waited outside in my car for the other tow truck driver. This one was a bit less sketchy and had his wife with him, so it was a little better, they drove me and my car to the place and they dropped me off at the hotel... We found out the next day that my transmission was gone, and it was going to take until like Thursday of Friday to fix it... ugh. Through a series of phone calls that I wasn't even really a part of, my aunt who lived three hours away offered to come get me on Sunday and have me stay with them for the rest of the time it would take. So I stayed in the hotel until Sunday, it rained like crazy! My room leaked a little, and all I had to eat was skittles, string cheese, beef jerky and whatever I could save from the free breakfast. I had no other clothes, except pjs, and really just nothing. But that was just a few days and my aunt came and picked me up. I actually had a really fun time staying with them and I didn't think about the trauma as much. We went to the zoo, and I got to feed a giraffe, we saw Iron Man 3, watched movies, hung out, I got some changes of clothes at walmart, and really just had a great week, despite the car troubles. My car was finished on Thursday, and we went and picked it up on Friday, and I continued my drive. That night I stopped at another motel 6, that cost way more and was waaaay grosser... had trouble sleeping that night, I got like 5 hours of sleep total? from like 5am to 10am... it was a long night. And then I drove across NY the next day and I FINALLY made it!!
....to MA. And then got in the car and headed up to NH to surprise my Family at church the next day. Which was awesome! They were so excited, as was I. AND to make things even better, Kayleen was there with her boys, which I knew they would be but it was still wicked exciting. It was the first time I had seen her since, well before a lot of really crazy crap happened, and it was just really, really good to see her. Anyway, we only stayed until Monday morning, and then went back to MA, and I started unpacking, and had a job interview that went really great. It was kind of stressful, but went pretty well. (I have a second interview this week)
THEN I came back to NH, and have been here hanging out here for a week and a half :) quality time with my family, helping out around the house cuz my mom had sinus surgery and having some much needed and long waited for talks with my wonderful friend about the craziness that is life. Even the kind of talks where it got so late and we were so tired that we were cracking up at everything, and it has just been a really great week and a half.
Life has been a bit stressful and crazy to say the least but I have been soooo blessed and everything is going to work out!! I hope, I really hope everything works out... life is crazy scary and hopefully I can do it!
I hate that I never remember to update this thing. I wish I was one of those people that like every Thursday evening I'm like OH, I should update my blog. But I guess three months has now passed and life, once again, flip flopped itself all around and changed, completely. That seems to happen to me a lot. Head spinning.
Soo about a month ago I quit my job, due to a need for benefits and a more stable job, and things god a bit sketchy right at the end and it just felt like it was time to leave. I packed half my stuff and got rid of the other half, UPSed a crapload of it, and packed the really expensive stuff in to my car. And I left Utah. I always knew that I wouldn't be in Utah forever, but it felt like I just got there and was finally settling in a bit, after you know like 9 or something months. So I left, and drove the first day just fine, sang my lungs out, and stopped in Omaha, NE for the night, at quite a nice Motel 6. Seriously, nicest Motel 6 ever! So I slept quite well, got up the next day, filled up the tank, and headed out.
MY DISASTER STORY, IF YOU WANNA READ IT...
Then Disaster struck, a few hours into my drive my car sputtered and lurched and died, and had just enough momentum for me to roll to the side of the road... and really, just enough momentum, like, my tires were just over the white line, on the I-80, I couldn't even get out of the car until there were no car or huge semis passing. It was a bit scary. Let's just say, I almost started freaking out... called my dad and freaked out a bit and cried a bit. I was literally in the middle of nowhere Iowa. Seriously, nothing but fields for miles... The car would turn over and start but it wouldn't do, ANYTHING. So I could get it in neutral, and I would jump out of the car and try to push it more off to the side... I got it a little more off the side, but still not really enough to get out of the car... (luckily a police officer pulled over and pushed my car more off the road) anyway, I called my insurance and spent like 45 minutes on the phone with them trying to figure out where I was and where to send a tow truck. So, thus far, I am alone, on the side of a busy highway, in the middle of nowhere, with no idea where I was, talking to some insurance lady in Arizona, and waiting for some random tow truck driver, to take me who knows where with my completely dead car... SO, anyway. From then on out, I sat, and waited. I couldn't call someone to talk to because my phone had like half a battery annnnd I didn't have a car charger. So I waited, and waited, a few hours.... eventually the tow truck showed up... it was a bit scary, I'll be honest. He was a raspy old guy, with long hair and wrinkly tattoos. He was nice, but, the whole situation was just killin' me anyway. He gets the car up on to the tow bed, and we hop in his truck and start driving. We end up in this little tiny, tiny town, called Brooklyn, Iowa. The guy keeps telling me how small of a town Brooklyn is, and how there aren't any hotels there and hopefully there will be somewhere for me to spend the night and blah blah blah and it was stressing me out a bit. So we stopped he had to ask where the mechanic that the insurance had sent us to was. The tow truck driver gets back in the truck and says that they told him where to go, and also that they didn't think it was open anymore... and we drove over to the place, and it was not there. So I call my insurance back, trying not to LOSE it and they talk to th tow truck driver and give us another location, in another town. Off we went. Another 20 minutes with a strange man in the middle of nowhere. We ended up in the little town of Grinnell, Iowa. The tow truck driver dropped me at a little car dealership that had a shop and he started unloading my car from the truck bed, while I started talking to the guy... who proceeded to tell me that they wouldn't even look at my car until Tuesday... it was Friday. And it was a holiday weekend. It took everything I had not to fall apart. Holy crap was I stressed. Oh, and I was worried about how much it was going to cost. I called my dad again and then he decided to call the insurance, and have some words with them and find a place that might at least look at it. And get the, to send another tow truck... So I just waited around at this car dealership for something to happen. Then, when the dealership closed I waited outside in my car for the other tow truck driver. This one was a bit less sketchy and had his wife with him, so it was a little better, they drove me and my car to the place and they dropped me off at the hotel... We found out the next day that my transmission was gone, and it was going to take until like Thursday of Friday to fix it... ugh. Through a series of phone calls that I wasn't even really a part of, my aunt who lived three hours away offered to come get me on Sunday and have me stay with them for the rest of the time it would take. So I stayed in the hotel until Sunday, it rained like crazy! My room leaked a little, and all I had to eat was skittles, string cheese, beef jerky and whatever I could save from the free breakfast. I had no other clothes, except pjs, and really just nothing. But that was just a few days and my aunt came and picked me up. I actually had a really fun time staying with them and I didn't think about the trauma as much. We went to the zoo, and I got to feed a giraffe, we saw Iron Man 3, watched movies, hung out, I got some changes of clothes at walmart, and really just had a great week, despite the car troubles. My car was finished on Thursday, and we went and picked it up on Friday, and I continued my drive. That night I stopped at another motel 6, that cost way more and was waaaay grosser... had trouble sleeping that night, I got like 5 hours of sleep total? from like 5am to 10am... it was a long night. And then I drove across NY the next day and I FINALLY made it!!
....to MA. And then got in the car and headed up to NH to surprise my Family at church the next day. Which was awesome! They were so excited, as was I. AND to make things even better, Kayleen was there with her boys, which I knew they would be but it was still wicked exciting. It was the first time I had seen her since, well before a lot of really crazy crap happened, and it was just really, really good to see her. Anyway, we only stayed until Monday morning, and then went back to MA, and I started unpacking, and had a job interview that went really great. It was kind of stressful, but went pretty well. (I have a second interview this week)
THEN I came back to NH, and have been here hanging out here for a week and a half :) quality time with my family, helping out around the house cuz my mom had sinus surgery and having some much needed and long waited for talks with my wonderful friend about the craziness that is life. Even the kind of talks where it got so late and we were so tired that we were cracking up at everything, and it has just been a really great week and a half.
Life has been a bit stressful and crazy to say the least but I have been soooo blessed and everything is going to work out!! I hope, I really hope everything works out... life is crazy scary and hopefully I can do it!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Late night thoughts...
Ok, really if I put all of my late night thoughts on here, this post would never end. But I just wanted to take a moment to say that I really like who I am, I really love myself, and I feel lucky because I don't think that's something that everyone can honestly say. Don't worry, I have my moments, like everyone. But I just cleaned my room yesterday (SHOCKER!) and tonight, as I was sitting here stalking people and looking up random things, I started looking around my room, now that I've finally cleaned and settled in a bit, at all of the crazy random stuff I have... everything from a guitar to a crate full of nerf guns, movies, a piano, different kinds of books, buckets full of old notebooks and school things, scriptures, pictures, clothes, artwork, broadway music, video games, tools, flowers, make-up and even a batman cape. I could go on. But I was looking around and just smiled big to myself, and thought that I just really like who I am, so diverse, so different, so random, I enjoy so many different things. I think that maybe, just maybe I might be one of a kind, you meet me, like me or don't, but you probably won't really meet anyone else quite like me. And I like that. I like being me, and not caring too much really about what people think one way or the other, just happy being me. I laugh a lot, make people laugh, I cry, good days, bad days, I'm a bit hyper and sometimes I talk loud, and sometimes I just chill, or just sit and think, but usually can't sit still for too long, I sing at the top of my lungs and I take pictures of things, I like to feel, I'm passionate and honest and caring and I love to love people... I smile because I just love being me.
and if you ever have trouble seeing good things in you, just ask me, I can tell you :)
and if you ever have trouble seeing good things in you, just ask me, I can tell you :)
Sunday, November 11, 2012
25!!
So the other day I turned 25, and this probably won't be a long post because it was actually kind of a boring birthday, but what can you expect when you've only been living somewhere for 2 months and still haven't made many friends? I just want to thank again anyone who said happy birthday to me or anything, I really needed to hear it, as weird as that sounds, it's not easy being in a new place by yourself, especially after everything that has happened in the past year, and I'll be honest, it was kind of a hard birthday after everything that has happened. So it really meant a lot to hear from people who care about me, even if they're far away :) like, I don't think you guys can ever really understand how much it meant. So thank you!! Yea it was kind of a rough day, really I spent most of the day working on the stage at the conference center (which is always awesome), and I was going to go spend the weekend with my brother and his wife, but something told me not to go this weekend, so I didn't go. Something really great that has come out of all of this is that I've learned to be able to rely on my Heavenly Father even more. And I'm just going to go up next weekend and we'll celebrate then!! After work I came home and my grandparents had a little cake for me and we had dinner and so on, and that was that. So not the best birthday ever, but I have high hopes that 25 will be a good year. I feel like, and hope, that things can only get better from here, haha and if they don't, well then that just means that things can only get better when I turn 26! Haha those are weird numbers to be tossing around, mostly because I think that I will never stop feeling like a kid :) haha you know me!
Monday, October 15, 2012
life lately
Haha, so I've been reading all my friends blogs, and man my life is boring lately! I'm all like yea I should post in my blog today, oh wait my life is boring. Oh well, I don't have much else to do. So I'm living in Utah, in my grandparent's basement, at least until I can afford to live somewhere else. It had been an interesting experience, meaning that in some ways it is like living by myself. I don't see them that much either because of our schedules or just because they go about their stuff and do their thing and we just don't see much of each other. So it's kind of like living by myself. I haven't made many friends yet either so I spend a lot of time (when I'm not working) trying to keep myself entertained, which isn't so much a challenge, but for anyone who knows me, you'll most likely know that I being by myself is not my favorite thing ever. Don't get me wrong, I'm a lot better at being by myself these days, in fact sometimes it's nice, but I would rather have people around a lot of the time, I'm a people person, so that's been tough but I can deal, I'm a tough chick.
My new ward is pretty cool so far, people are really nice and inviting, I have a calling, and so far it's pretty good. I may be getting awkward questions soon though, I already got one tonight about "hey I noticed, why did the ward directory have your last name as Smith?" Ugh that's the last thing that I want. Apparently my last bishop didn't change that on my records for me, so now my married last name is floating around, which I do not like. Haha maybe no one will notice, really I just don't want to have to explain that to a bunch of random people. Well I guess I'll just figure that out if it even happens.
I have a job now, prettymuch the coolest job in the world!! http://idcutah.com/ that is where I work, Innovative Design Concepts of Utah, it is so sweet! I actually look forward to waking up every morning and going to work! I have to get up at like 7:30, which is quite the accomplishment, and a blessing that I have been able to sleep and get up that early! I really love my job, I was hired on for Christmas but there is definitely a chance that they will keep me on after the season is over! Everyone pray that it works out! I would love to keep this job! I've been getting decorations ready for an event coming up next week I think, in the conference center, but seriously, check out the website and just look at the pictures of some of the things that this company does, it's so sick! Speaking of which I should be in bed soon...
I'm getting ready for Halloween, one of my favorites :) I'm trying to come up with an awesome costume, and usually I can pull something pretty sweet off. I just watched The Nightmare Before Christmas to get into the spirit! Man I wish I had more exciting things to talk about!
I did have a cool experience last week! Well I've had lots of experiences in the last few months, I've been so blessed that things have been working out so well. But it is still hard dealing with well heartache and trying to figure out why things happen the way that they do sometimes, which if I'm not careful that one will drive me crazy... But last week I was reading my scriptures and was reading in the book of Ether, chapter 6 I believe, and it was the chapter right after the Jaredites had finished their barges and were getting in them to cross the sea, in the chapter you read that the ships were tight like a dish, and prettymuch they got in, closed them up, and prayed and trusted the Lord that they would get to the promised land...
5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.
My new ward is pretty cool so far, people are really nice and inviting, I have a calling, and so far it's pretty good. I may be getting awkward questions soon though, I already got one tonight about "hey I noticed, why did the ward directory have your last name as Smith?" Ugh that's the last thing that I want. Apparently my last bishop didn't change that on my records for me, so now my married last name is floating around, which I do not like. Haha maybe no one will notice, really I just don't want to have to explain that to a bunch of random people. Well I guess I'll just figure that out if it even happens.
I have a job now, prettymuch the coolest job in the world!! http://idcutah.com/ that is where I work, Innovative Design Concepts of Utah, it is so sweet! I actually look forward to waking up every morning and going to work! I have to get up at like 7:30, which is quite the accomplishment, and a blessing that I have been able to sleep and get up that early! I really love my job, I was hired on for Christmas but there is definitely a chance that they will keep me on after the season is over! Everyone pray that it works out! I would love to keep this job! I've been getting decorations ready for an event coming up next week I think, in the conference center, but seriously, check out the website and just look at the pictures of some of the things that this company does, it's so sick! Speaking of which I should be in bed soon...
I'm getting ready for Halloween, one of my favorites :) I'm trying to come up with an awesome costume, and usually I can pull something pretty sweet off. I just watched The Nightmare Before Christmas to get into the spirit! Man I wish I had more exciting things to talk about!
I did have a cool experience last week! Well I've had lots of experiences in the last few months, I've been so blessed that things have been working out so well. But it is still hard dealing with well heartache and trying to figure out why things happen the way that they do sometimes, which if I'm not careful that one will drive me crazy... But last week I was reading my scriptures and was reading in the book of Ether, chapter 6 I believe, and it was the chapter right after the Jaredites had finished their barges and were getting in them to cross the sea, in the chapter you read that the ships were tight like a dish, and prettymuch they got in, closed them up, and prayed and trusted the Lord that they would get to the promised land...
5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.
6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.
7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.
8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.
9 And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.
10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.
12 And they did land upon the shore of the promised land. And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them.
In verse 5 is talks about how the Lord actually causes the storms to come down on them and it keeps talking throughout the verses about how fierce these storms were, mountains of waves, tempests, it even talks about sea monsters and things like that. I was blessed to be given a new perspective on life, we all hear about and experience life's storms, and we always hear that the Lord will calm the storm, or that he may not calm the storm but he will calm his child, but in verse 8 it says that "the wind never did cease to blow towards the promised land" meaning that sometimes, he causes the storm but only to push us towards something better, I mean it makes sense but it hit me hard the other night, that sometimes he sends such fierce storms to get us to somewhere way better than where we are, we just have to trust him, and pray and do all that we can to push forward, and sometimes, like the Jaredites in the barges, we are powerless to fight the storms, all we can do is trust that the Lord is taking us somewhere better, that the wind will not cease to blow us towards our own "promised lands" I feel like my words here aren't nearly enough to convey the feeling of understanding I had in regard to my own life and to the trials I have faced lately, trials that were things that I never ever dreamed I would be called to face, and man was I caught of guard and totally blindsided by some of them. But when I read that scripture it was like the spirit was telling me that all of this crap was really going to be worth it someday, that the Lord really is using these trials and storms to take me to something better, and that I just need to trust him and the guidance I receive from the spirit. I once had a friend who told me that when the Lord gives us trials, it means that he has not forgotten about us, and to add to that, it means that he has something better for us if we can but trust him and do our best to endure the storms of life. Again, I don't even think my words are enough to portray the knowledge and understanding that I was blessed with. Pray and read your scriptures and you really will be blessed with answers! Hope that wasn't too much to share but I felt like I should :)
I hope that all is well with you my friends and that you know how much I love you and value the amazing friendships I have been so blessed with throughout my life. Despite the hard things, I am so blessed.
And now I should be getting to bed :) goodnight and much love!
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