discouragement

 Discouragement... this is the one I'm fighting today. It's hard not to give in to this feeling, but I'm doing my best. I haven't given up yet, things just seem to be piling up so crazily. How am I going to fix this thing, or how am I going to take care of that thing, or how am I going to pick up these pieces and get where I need to be? It's all a bit disheartening, and it's hard to think of all of the things that keep piling on my plate, and not knowing what I'm going to do about all of it! There just doesn't seem to much that I can do. I keep holding on to the feeling that I got, that said that everything is going to be alright, and that I'm going to be alright eventually. It's just hard when I can't see or understand how. But I guess that's how faith and trust work.  

 Discouragement is the adversary's greatest tool against us. Of all the things that he could do, or make us believe, it is to take out greatest troubles and fears and make us think that they are unconquerable. The adversary wants us to think that we can not do it, and that we should just give up. How much easier would his job be if we all just gave up?!

 I'm not ready to give up, but it is really hard to not be able to see how things even could work. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's all about trusting in the Lord and waiting to see what it is that He has planned for me. He has something for me to learn, and maybe I'll have to hit rock bottom before I can get back on my feet and then climb my way back up to the top. 

 Discouragement is a tough one, stupid discouragement!! It should know that it's not going to win, and this feeling should just go away! Screw you discouragement! You can take everything I have and I won't break! And I sound so cliche and overly optimistic right now, but sometimes it's the only way to keep moving forward!     

 I'm not sure why I'm blogging so much all of the sudden, I think it helps to get some things just off my chest, and as far as I know the people that actually read this are people that I would talk to anyway. And possibly because I'm not really on Facebook right now, which has been nice. Anyway, today was a pretty dang good day all things considered. I woke up on time feeling actually quite refreshed! And I walked to class today, it felt pretty nice, it was probably a few miles too, so I feel pretty good about that. My classes were pretty good, and didn't seem to drag on, and even though I was gone to San Francisco for my travel study I still feel pretty confident about being able to get everything finished alright and still keep my grades up. So yea... something this evening though kinda just got me down, nothing too bad, just silly things that make me think about not so silly things that are happening...