Lead Kindly Light

 I really should be sleeping, but clearly, I am not, haha. It's alright, anyone who knows me really would be shocked if I was in bed right now! Nichole's asleep?! And it's not even 2am?! What is the world coming too!

 Today was a rough day. It's been difficult trying to get things figured out or trying to work things out. A few difficult conversations, and a few really good ones. The difficult ones were the ones where things were trying to be worked out, but it is ok.

 For some reason, I have had this song stuck on and off in my head today, and a little yesterday I think. It might have been one I started singing to myself as I was trying to go about my day, and doing my best to keep my head up, but it just stayed stuck. And I think that it stayed stuck for a reason, to help me understand some things as I tried to remember all the words in my head and came home and looked the song up before I went to bed. It's a song that brings great peace of mind and heart to anyone who listens to it, I think.

 Yesterday I talked about how hard it is to not get discouraged with everything that is going on, and trying not to get discouraged with all the things that I suddenly feel buried under. Also, today, after one of my good talks, a very good friend of mine suggested some talks for me to look up. I read through the first one and it helped to calm my crazy and troubled thoughts, and as I searched for said talk, I stumbled upon other talks, that comforted me in ways that I really needed today.

 One talk, was short and simple. It was a personal story written by someone who was going through something very similar to what I'm experiencing. The title of the talk was "With Faith in God, I am never alone"... so true! No matter what the situation, no matter where the hurt is coming from, whether it was my own fault or because of someone else's trials, whether it a lesson to be learned or just any trial that is put in our paths, as long as we have faith in our loving Heavenly Father, we will never be alone. I will never be alone! She talked about how that no matter what, our Heavenly Father will always be there for us if we ask him too. Her story was followed by some council and encouragement from President Uchtdorf, he said...
“He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.
“What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.” 


This talk and others that I read through, reminded me of some really important things, that will be important for me to keep in mind as I move forward. One was that not only is this an opportunity to grow, and become a better and stronger person, spiritually and mentally, but it is also an opportunity for me to develop a better relationship with my Father in Heaven and my Savior. One of the talks I read talked about this very thing, that within our hardest trials and deepest sorrows, can come a relationship with Heavenly Father and our Savior like nothing else, because as we look for peace and understanding in the correct way, we will draw near to them and know them better, and become better. Something else that I was reminded of in these talks was when many of them say something to the affect of "No matter what your circumstance etc, etc..." that no matter what my circumstance, my Father in Heaven always loves me, he always has a way for me to overcome and receive those blessings that I desire, and that there is always hope.

 This song "Lead Kindly Light" has quieted my fears, along with the talks that I read. These things were all answers to my prayer in search of peace. Heavenly Father truly answers our prayers, and is always looking out for us, and doing everything he can to give us the opportunity to be closer to him, and to be better, and ultimately reach or greatest goal.

One other thing, I am so grateful for good friends. For the people who call, who talk, who listen and who love me no matter what. I've recognized also through this trial, that I truly do have Heaven sent friends, and that the Lord truly does send us help and hands to lift us in our time of need :) despite all that is going on, I couldn't be more blessed.