when it rains....

When it rains, it pours... and pours and pours and pours and then the rivers start to overflow and then there are flash floods, and then the levee breaks and everyone has to start living on houseboats and have a diet of mostly fish and sea food, then we all become mermaids and mermen because all thats left is water, because thats just how hard it seems to be pouring.... on the upside, i might get to be a mermaid! Who wouldn't want that?! Sometimes, our plans don't work out how we think they will, in fact it seems like more often than not, my plans change because there are things that I need to learn. There are some things in life that we can only learn through facing our trials and relying on a loving Heavenly Father and Savior. Our trials sometimes come at us in the last way that we ever would have seen them coming, and then you get blindsided just like the the comet that hit earth and killed the dinosaurs... sometimes we have no control over what it is that comes our way, sometimes it's because of the choices of others, sometimes we wish with all our hearts that we could fix what is wrong, or that we could be strong enough to carry the entire load, but that's not the point, and we have to remember that things happen for a reason and usually to make us better than we were before, and we have to remember that other people have their agency, and we can't change the choices that other people make. All we can control is what we choose to do with whatever it is that comes our way. I think something that I'm really learning that it's not really about what the trial is, or why it happens, or whose fault it is or if there even is fault, what really matters is how we choose to respond and what we take away from it... if we can walk away stronger, or more humble, or better in some way than who we were before. What matters is the moments of decision. Do I let myself give in completely to anger, or do I turn the other cheek the best I can... do I just give up on life when it gets too hard or do I look for things to learn and understand. Do I rely on my own methods to push forward, or do I drop to my knees in prayer for understanding and strength? Do I let it ruin me or do I let the power of the atonement wash through me and lead me through my darkest times.

7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. 
8 The Son of Man hath bdescended below them all. Art thou greater than he? 
9 Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

 It's always darkest before the sunrise, and everything will be better in the end, and if it's not better, then it's not the end. So I'm going to take all of this and face it head on, from my knees, seeking guidance and understanding for what I need to do and what I need to learn. Things can only get better from here and as long as I rely on my Savior, everything will be alright. Everything is going to be alright. All I can do is keep praying, and keep doing everything in my power to be the best person I can be, look for opportunities to love and serve others and use all of this as an opportunity to come closer to my Father in Heaven and my Savior, and let them make my weak things strong. I still have a long way to go in all of this, and facing some of the hardest things I have ever had to face or do, but I can do it, with all the right help. Everything will be ok.


 (one of my favorite hymns, especially the verses that we don't usually get to sing)
 How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord, Is laid for your faith in his excellent word! What more can he say than to you he hath said, Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior, Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?
 In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health, In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth, At home or abroad, on the land or the sea— As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand, As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
 Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous, Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow, For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee, And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
 When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume, Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
 E’en down to old age, all my people shall prove My sov’reign, eternal, unchangeable love; And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn, Like lambs shall they still, like lambs shall they still, Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.
 The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!